- Me every night: I don't need to sleep.
- Me every morning: I need to sleep for 3 days straight.
when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him
saying ‘since you support gay marriage you must be gay’ is like saying ‘since you support obama you must be obama’
we are all obama
And I swear in that moment we were Obama
We accept the Obama we think we deserve
sometimes I wonder what the fuck is wrong with you people and then I realize I don’t care
it doesn’t matter how obama you are, as long as you don’t stop